The Eevil Coat of Death!
by Wyrdel
Summary: Kaiba's coat comes to life and takes over his body! Oh no! Strange little one-shot.


Title: The Eeevil Coat of Death!!

Rated: PG 

Disclaimer: This isn't mine, but if you want *darts eyes to the left and right* meet me in front of the library at 3:14 am with $217.86 in a plain brown envelope and perhaps we can arrange something…

By the way: I would like to thank my editor who will be simply named "Happy Tumor". if it wernt fer yu i wood haf nevver spelld ennything write. I would also like to laugh in her face for thinking I spelled Jonouchi's name wrong when I in fact used the spelling from the manga therefore rendering it "correct". Ha!

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Kaiba had just woken up and was getting ready for work. Suddenly Mokuba came bouncing in.

"What are we going to do today, Seto?" he asked.

"The same thing we do every day, Mokuba," said Kaiba, "Try to take over the world!"

"Huh?"

"I mean take my revenge on Yugi for beating me … every … SINGLE … TIME!!!" he punctuated the last three words by smacking a Yugi doll against the wall.

"Okay…" Mokuba said pulling out a cross and holding it between him and his brother.

"Let's go," Kaiba said, putting on his coat.

"MWAHAHAHA!" the coat laughed, "Now I have you right where I want you!"

"Uh, Seto?" Mokuba said, "Your coat just talked."

"What are you talking about?"

But before Mokuba could respond the coat rose up and ate him.

"Ha ha ha!" the coat laughed, "There is no way you can defeat me!"

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Kaiba threw off the coat and started running down the hall. "Why didn't I see it before? It's so obvious that you're an evil coat, how else could you always flap in the wind despite the lack of air currents?"

The coat began flying down the hall after Kaiba, "MWAHAHAHA!"

"Eeeeeeeeeee!" Kaiba screamed like a school girl as the coat caught up to him, "You won't take me!"

Kaiba and the coat wrestled on the floor for a few minutes. Kaiba, not being an inanimate object made of cloth and intended for slight protection against the environment, was clearly winning.

'I'll have to do something sneaky,' the coat thought then said out loud, "Look! It's Justin Timberlake!"

Kaiba jumped up, "Omigod, where? I so need his autograph!"

The coat tackled him and took over his brain, "You fool! Now I own you! MWAHAHAHA!"

No! Kaiba said. ((he's talking in s because he's locked inside the depths of his own mind, being forced to witness the eeevil deeds the coat will undertake while Kaiba himself can only watch.))

"To the amusement park!" the coat, in Kaiba's body, yelled and jumped out of a window. Using it's eeevil coat power© it flew to the amusement park and proceeded to ride the roller coaster over and over again.

~Meanwhile~

"It sure was a good idea to go to the amusement park, Anzu," Yugi said.

"I thought it would be something fun to do," Anzu shrugged.

"Hey," Jonouchi said, pointing at the roller coaster, "Is that Kaiba?"

"Wheeeee!" "Kaiba" was yelling. "I'm King of the Wooooooorld!"

"Looks like we're not the only ones having fun today," Honda said.

"Does Kaiba even know _how_ to have fun?" Jonouchi asked.

"I don't think he does," Yugi said, "Oh no! What if Kaiba's eeevil coat came to life, ate Mokuba, and took over Kaiba's body? We have to do something!"

"You're right! I don't know how in a million years I could believe that…but you're right!" Jonouchi said.

"Let's throw things at him until gets knocked unconscious!" Honda said.

"Good idea!" Jonouchi started picking up things and throwing them at Kaiba. But since Kaiba was on a roller coaster and Jonouchi had bad aim the stuff simply hit innocent bystanders upon their heads.

"Um…maybe we shouldn't do _that_ Jonouchi." Yugi said.

"I know Yugi." Yami said, "Let's challenge him to a shadow game-"

"That's all you _ever_ want to do!"

"Well duh! And don't you think it would be kinda interesting to battle a coat?"

"…"

Suddenly the coat-Kaiba flew by, "Look at me! I'm a moth! I feel pretty, and witty, and gaaaaaay!!!"

"That's it!" Yami said.

"We should all become homosexual and lure the coat away from Kaiba?" Jonouchi asked.

"No, as appealing as that sounds, I know a power even greater than hormones-"

"The power of friendship?" Anzu asked.

"NO!" everyone shouted and stabbed Anzu.

"The power of moths!" Yami pulled out an enormous jar of moths and set them loose.

"Ahh!" Kaiba cried falling to the ground as the moths ate all of his clothes, including the eeevil coat.

"We saved Kaiba, yay!" Jonouchi shouted.

"Yay!" everyone shouted.

"We saved Kaiba, aww!" Jonouchi moaned.

"Aww!" everyone moaned.

Suddenly Bakura popped up. "You are all sheep!" then he disappeared again.

"Yugi!" Kaiba yelled pointing at Yugi ((duh he's pointing at Yugi, didn't I imply that when I wrote "Yugi!"? Who else would he be pointing at? Honestly!)), "You may have saved me from my clothes and this fanfic, BUT I WILL DEFEAT YOU IN A DUEL!!!"

Kaiba disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Holy smoke!" Jonouchi yelled, "We're all naked!"

"Ahh!" Honda yelled, "The moths must have eaten our clothes too!"

"Why, oh WHY, did we come to the amusement park on Seniors-Get-In-Free day? My eyes! They burn!!!" Yugi screamed as his eyes bled.

"You are all sheep!" Bakura said. Then he shot everyone, waved, and smiled at the readers, "The end!"

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Calliope: Do you think I'm insane now? Yes? No? Maybe so?

Readers: …

Calliope: Fine be that way! Step on me as I lay my dreams upon your head! Er…um…as I lay down my dreams you stomp on them? The dreams…under your feet…are stepped on? Ah, oh well, it's something like that anyway. Please read and review.

Voice Inside My Head: You idiot. If they're reading this then they've already read the fic.

Calliope: Ah! Who said that?

Voice Inside My Head: It's just the voice inside your head.

Calliope: Oh, good. I thought I was going crazy.

Readers: …

Calliope: Well, review then. Right Bakura? *holds up Bakura*

Bakura: You are all sheep!

Calliope: Good job! Now go! Force fan girls to review! *throws Bakura to a mob of fan girls*


End file.
